Look Sharp, Sconnie - Midwestern Fashion Nerd, Chronic Over-thinker

Well this is embarrassing...

Every since I can remember,
I've hated my eyebrows.
And when I say "hate", I don't mean the I-hate-this-millimeter-of-cellulite-on-my-never-even-visible-upper-thigh hate,

I mean the
I-literally-feel-like-a-man-on-a-daily-basis-and-am-too-scared-to-talk-to-boys-because-I-think-they-will-compare-me-to-Oscar-the-Grouch-and-mistake-me-for-a-Neanderthal
hate that has deterred me from social interactions of all sorts.

If you think this is melodramatic,
it is.

But I am what I am - and what I am (or was...we're getting there...) is a sorrily self conscious youngster with debilitating insecurities about her femininity.

For some reason, as a kid, I got it into my head that plucking my eyebrows would violate the ultimate parental taboo.
I'm not certain what initiated this little rule, but I do know that the day I broke it, I suffered a break down almost as embarrassing as the one to which I succumbed after mistakenly uttering the phrase "aw, man", which my confused 6-year-old self had mistaken for a forbidden swear word.

((My mom calls this Catholic guilt.
I call it OCD)).

Anyhow, after an hour car ride during which I attempted an innumerable quantity of what I'm sure would now be amusingly unnatural-looking poses aimed solely at shielding my forehead from my mother's purview, she finally commented on what were then (thanks to the talent of a super mature 12-year-old BFF and her apparently bourgeoning makeup artist skills) one inch lines placed a full finger's width too high on my brow and arched in a perpetually perky state of surprise.
I lost it.
Bawling, I admitted to her what I'd done. That I'd marred my appearance - that it wasn't even my idea - that I'd never do it again - that this was the worst decision of my life and that I was so, so, so sorry.

She was pretty unphased.
In fact, I don't think it would be going too far to say 
that she didn't care.
At all.
I think she might have off-handedly remarked that, next time, I might want to leave them a tiny-bit thicker.
And that was it.

Needless to say, I didn't touch my eyebrows for years.
And when I finally did, the alterations were too minimal to be really necessary at all.
Nowadays, they're much the same. The bushman patches you see here are largely untamed - save for the occasional frantic attempt at upkeep prompted by a particularily florescent Gap changing room.
When it starts to be more work to be someone else than to be yourself, 
I guess I just figure that it's not worth the effort. 
I have a hard enough time nailing down my own aesthetic without constantly worrying about that which is stipulated by the 'norm'. 
(and unfortunately, no superhumanly model with bushy brows has yet succeeded in convinced me that they're truly socially acceptable for a regular girl)

So here's me being awkward and embarrassed, 
and revealing how the makeup (dark brows, red lip) and hair (up and away from face) at last week's show brought forth my biggest insecurities. 

I'm attempting to kick them in the butt. 

Any majorly awkward things to share?
Please, if you have time, share in this personal-growth experience with me. 













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18 comments:

  1. NorbyahMarch 6, 2013 at 6:03 AM

    painfully embarrassing insecurities? oh gee....i have tons. many of which would bore most people to tears. and the one i'm going to share is so embarrassing, it makes me feel like an adolescent again. because you see, what i dislike the most about my body is my chest. (or lack thereof). certain items of clothing will always be out of my range. i feel like people don't necessarily sympathize because they look at me and say, but you're so thin....but you don't know how awful it has been my whole life to buy swimsuits. or bras. i have just resorted to buying training bras...no joke.
    and there's a catch 22. when i first became a mother, and i was nursing...i all of a sudden got the boobs that i had always wanted all my life. i was miserable. they made my clothes fit weird and were just freakish.
    anyway, that was probably tmi....but, you asked.

    by the way....your eyebrows are awesome. like brooke shields awesome.

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:25 PM

      1. Nothing you say would bore me to tears
      2. Nothing is TMI. This is me you're talking to
      3. ME. TOO.
      And, strangely enough, I UNDERSTAND the catch 22. It's like you want them, until you realize that they're so foreign to your body that you can't be yourself with them.

      i Would highly recommend ordering the Miraculous bra from Victoria's secret. it give syou just enough oomph to ffeel confident, without overwhelming you.

      Thank you for sharing!!

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  2. far and wild jewelryMarch 6, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    hilary rhoda? crystal renn? cara delevigne? arizona muse? jacquelyn jablonski? i could go on but if that hasn't swayed you over to team eyebrows i don't know what will! now to share in your personal growth experience, and in a way that i hope inspires even more growth on your part. after years of the requisite high school plucking of my eyebrows down to the one inch perky surprises you mentioned, i decided to grow them out and try to love a natural brow, which i did and still do. but because of years of overplucking one of my eyebrows is slightly thinner than the other. and it drives me crazy. but when the going gets tough and the brows get sparse, the tough douse their eyebrows with latisse and hope for the best. i latissed my brows in the hopes of getting the bold, full beauties about which you're lamenting. so join your fellow full browed models and celebrate those babies because you look stunning!

    abigail
    www.farandwildjewelry.blogspot.com

    ps. i need the exact instructions to replicate that hair because it's AMAZING.

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:15 PM

      First of all, the hair was done by professionals. If this had been left up to me, I'd probably have half a head of hair and knots still left over in the aftermath.

      Team Eyebrows..
      mm
      new blog name?

      Latisse on eyebrows!? ohmygosh. Do you think rogain would work too?

      Maybe, just as I'm working through (with the help of these amazing comments) my unibrow discomfort, you can embrace your brows of varied widths. Makes you unique.
      :)

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  3. NorbyahMarch 6, 2013 at 5:53 PM

    hey, i came across this post on a pair and a spare and it made me think of the post you wrote about clothing as art....
    http://apairandasparediy.com/2013/03/diy-home-clothing-artwork.html
    xo
    n

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:11 PM

      Oh man. Loving this. I shared this with a colleague today who literally buys dresses and leaves the tags on them, just because she thinks they're beautiful.

      Love it!

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  4. PaulaMarch 7, 2013 at 4:32 AM

    Aww you poor thing! Fuller eyebrows are so in right now darl because of ONE model - Cara Delevigne! Her brows are outa this world! There's a bit of a trend in fashion at the moment that's rewarding uniqueness - look at Georgia Jagger and her gap toothed smiled. I say embrace your brows.
    When I was an adolescent I was always conscious that I looked like a boy... but I'm a girl so really theres no way around that. Just be glad that you only have to worry about your brows and not something much worse... like a sixth toe #Victoria_Beckham.

    ♥ Paula Shoe Fiend.
    http://shoe-fiend.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Pardon My FashionMarch 7, 2013 at 8:27 AM

      EMBRACE IT BABY...your brows are HOT! I'm always SOOOOOOOOO self conscious about zits/acne, but the older I get I'm just kinda like, dude FUCK IT. Also, I saw this quote from Diana Vreeland that really stuck with me: “You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.”

      Put that ^ in your pipe and smoke it. Love ya chica, can we be internet friends? Can we form our own CGC?

      xoxo
      www.PardonMyFashion.com

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    2. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:01 PM

      I want this to be my life motto.

      It's exactly these types of quotes that remind me every day just how inside the box I've been thinking.
      This is life-alteringly true. I do think that I have in my head that I have this obligation to please people visually, and even though I negate that obligation daily, the fact that I acknowledge it so frequently here and refer to myself as 'geeky' or 'awkward' proves how insecure I am about it.

      Thank you thank you thank you for this quote. This is amazing.

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  5. The PhotogrampsMarch 7, 2013 at 9:04 AM

    OH my lord. We are in cosmic alignment! I JUST posted about learning to love the cards you were dealt. Mine insecurity WAS my smile. As far as the eyebrows go, (you will see if you read my post), that Frida Kahlo can teach us a thing or two about being gorgeous whilst rocking a unibrow.

    You're a total babe. Key word being TOTAL. End of story.
    xo
    ashley
    www.thephotogramps.blogspot.com

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM

      Just left a 3 mile comment on your post.

      You're amazing.

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  6. agasuitcaseMarch 7, 2013 at 10:39 AM

    Your hairdo is awsome
    Really impressive blog, love your style. If you want check mine and we could follow each other:-)
    Kisses
    Aga

    New posts
    Ethnic sweater trend!
    www.agasuitcase.com

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  7. UnknownMarch 7, 2013 at 10:58 AM

    Gabriella! Thank you so much for the sweetest comment on my blog! I'd love to hear where you found me! The minute I read "Ever since I can remember, I've hated my brows," I was hooked on your blog! You've such a way with words! No seriously, your style of writing is very captivating, and I need to take a lesson from you on opening up to the readers. :) Following you on Bloglovin'! And now I shall go and pore over the rest of your posts. XOXO :) BTW, the hairdo is perfect.

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  8. UnknownMarch 7, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    You are hilarious! If it makes you feel any better I have been in a constant war with my eyebrows. I know they are said to stop water going into your eyes or whatever, but seriously they are just like having a caterpillar gripping for life on your face and I am not a fan. I remember thin eyebrows were always the 'thing' back when I was at school and now it's massive eyebrows that are the hit. It's confusing, how can a little bit of hair change so dramatically. The worst thing is if you overpluck or something, it's hard to notice yourself AND there is the chance that those hairs will never grow back. I have this one hair that just permanently is restless and pokes in the opposite direction, I mean seriously what is it's problem.

    On another note your hair is stunning. I have tried to do that do and never mastered it as well as you have here so well done!

    Alyssa
    http://squibtoday.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:28 PM

      "a caterpillar gripping for life on your face."

      oh geez. best description ever. And it is absolutely impossible to notice yourself. you get in these plucking ruts and then come out of them totally unaware that you've just mutilated your face.

      I loled (fer realz..totes) at that rogue hair comment. Maybe accept and embrace? Own that rogue hair. Make it WERK.

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  9. UnknownMarch 7, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Hi Gabrielle,

    I just spent the past our combing through your blog. I'm far from done browsing, but I absolutely LOVE everything about your work. Especially your voice and your writing. It's really rare to find a fashion blog that combines style with both wit and personality, but yours definitely nails all three. I recently wrote about my quest for blogs like yours, if you would like to check it out here's the link: http://www.mytomayto.com/2013/03/what-i-want-to-read.html

    I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

    xx Harling
    www.mytomayto.com

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    1. UnknownMarch 8, 2013 at 8:29 PM

      This made my day. I read your two comments come up in my e-mail yesterday and was glowing. It makes me feel so incredibly good that you read one post and, instead of running, went for another.

      I really appreciate you reading, and I"m headed over to check out your post now!

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  10. amreed8June 11, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    Hi,

    I have 3:

    My natural hair texture
    My nostrils
    My gap in-between my incisors

    Yep..

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