Remember that one time,
when you bought a candy choker necklace,
and then proceeded to slobber all over it's candy-coatedness until your neck, shirt, hands, face, entire being was covered in sugar-filled fluid of the most unsanitary sort?
And then remember winning one (read: 15) of these at the school carnival?
Or trying to apply one of these wonders with the longest constructed wet paper towel on the face of the planet?
|buy here ;)|
Hello wet t-shirt contest.
Above reasons are only the beginning to a potential 10-page rant about why I've grown to hate choker necklaces.
Memories of terrible childhood disposable camera images filled with bumpy-bottom buck teeth and gratuitous neck chub (you know exactly what I'm talking about) have deterred me from the dreadful accessory's application ...
I don't know what it is that swayed me.
It could be the recent uptick in the number of chocker sightings via fashion week, celebs, runways, etc, etc...
|source 1, 2, 3|
though it's likely just the desperate nostalgia that accompanies my premature quarter life crisis.
I think I'm fully ready to reclaim the choker from the grips of ...
We need to reassess it's origins, though, if we're going to refuel an age-old neck fauna frenzy.
The choker is not a free school fair gadget to be gnawed,
it is an indicator of STATUS -
or, at the very least,
of sex appeal.
|the uniform of prostitutes in 1800s (source)|
With that out of the way,
I think we can forgive the one (really) bad decade of choker errs in favor of the hundreds of good, and rewrite the choker as a respectable marker of sophistication, rather than the teeny bopper faux pas that it's become.
Sort of like how learning about Brad Pitt reignited the passion for a name (bradley) that had been sworn off years before in response to an unfortunately immature childhood enemy.
Or how A-line pleated skirts sorta seemed a little bit cool after no longer being associated with that weird rich kid school down the street.
so choke on, kids,
|choker: Urban (similar & amazing one & another), dress: American Apparel, skirt: Anthropologie (similar & one on whitehouseblackmarket.com)|