How to Cheat on Instagram

source

Soo..

I'm not a big "rule" person. 

JUST KIDDING.

I'm a huge rule person. 

Like an OCD rule person. 

Like the person who's always trying to figure out what she should be doing, how she should be doing it, and all the ways to do it even better than she was asked.

Which is why it's coincidental that when it comes to rules, 

I'm almost always breaking them. 

source

This is a phenomenon I'd like to attribute to a little psychological process I call "rationalization": also known as "denial", "justification" or "pretty much just outright lying" - 

a process during which I invent a new set of personal Gabby rules to which I stringently adhere and which do not at all coincide with reality. 

This developed as what I assume to be a defense mechanism against the inevitable insanity that would result should I endlessly seek to follow the rules of others. 

Which is why I have so much empathy for those (me) who mildly abuse the purity that was once Instagram . 

It's like they always say: 

You have to break the rules before you can --. 

wait

INSTAGRAM CHEATS.

# 1. Not taking the picture with your phone camera. 

WHAT!?!? 

BUT HOW!?!?!

#2. Fake locations, anyone?

www.looksharpsconnie.com is not a location

it should not be taggable. 

it is. 

#3. #Latergrams

A cheat made acceptable via hashtag. 

For it to have become such an insane "thing", we obviously must have been feeling quite an extensive amount of guilt for violating some sense of historical etiquette.

thanks, Abigail.

#4. "Inspiration"

source

Save it for your Tumblr.

#5. Taking a picture of your iPhone's "notes"

C'mon, guys. 

That's like spelling out the word out in Pictionary. 

# 6. The whole hashtag binge thing.

#what #Idontgetit #dopeoplereallysearchthingsbyhashtags #areyoustillreading #isthisspam? #thisisdefinitelyspam #britneyspears #ryangosling #winamilliondollars #chocolate #porn #sosneaky

# 7. Blah Invitations. 

If you're important enough to be hosting an event at Neiman Marcus, I'd hope that you're creative enough to find an announcement strategy more unique than a textual ad. This is why we have new technical mediums. Not for you to repurpose the old ones. 

(find here a website solely devoted to Instagram Invitations: http://www.zazzle.com/instagram+invitations) 

so sad

# 8. Sunsets as sunrises. 

ONCE.

ok?

I did it ONCE.

source

Maybe I don't wake up at the crack of dawn all snap happy and ready to embrace ethereal beauty and everything.

#twiceIdidittwice

# 9. I think we'll cap it off at 9, because 10 would be pessimistic and excessive, 

and I wouldn't want to get ranty or anything.
;)

Let's just conclude by saying that Instagram has essentially become the Tumblr of the iPhone. A website & event pager, of sorts. 

At its best, it's a visually appealing (or sufficiently amusing) supplement to a larger body of work. 

At its worst, it's a feed of uncreative information and repetitive calls to link back. 

At it's Gabby-est, 

it's an unfortunate number of foot-shots. 

#you'rewelcome. 

Cheers.