I went through this phase where I based all of my life decisions
on Disney princesses.
I do this every single day.
when deciding whether or not to take the smoothest course,
I remember that the dream-giver waits for me just around the river bend,
and opt for the bumpier ride.
In today's case, however, the life advice is of a much shallower short.
For example, what do you do when your favorite colors just happen to replicate those of a certain slightly overweight and eerily optimistic dinosaur?
Wear them anyway!
That's right, folks. Don't let a poorly-dressed predecessor deter you from rocking your most favorite of fashions (hellloooo spandex).
Which leads me to my wee round-up of style-related savvy gleaned from everyone's favorite mermaid,
1. Innerwear as Outwear
It's cool. Do it. But with balance, baby. No lingerie with low-waisted bottoms, puh-lease. Mom jeans/high-waisted tails are your best bet when blowing off a shirt for a mind-blowingly awesome set of boob shells.
Not only for the Donald.
Fer realz. These things effectively add roughly 3 times the volume to otherwise wispy princess hair, lending you a voluptuous head-topper perfect for emphasizing your tiny and equally as wispy princess frame.
Square, sweetheart, scoop or sharp V - when you find it, you'll know. And don't let go. This is one comfort zone you'll be glad that you stayed within (says the girl with one too many attempted crew neck-based ensembles and a subsequent plethora of blackmail-worthy photos awaiting immediate destruction)
4. Flattering Companionship
Not exactly a sliver of sartorial savvy, but invaluable nonetheless:
Make strides to surround yourself with chubby amorphous blobs with bulbous noses in order to effectively quadruple your physical appeal. Regardless of the circumstance, or the state of your potentially unruly mane of abnormally voluptuous hair, you will always, and mean always be the better looking friend. And for that, we have the Flounders of the world to thank.
[I am somebody else's Flounder. I guarantee it. #noshame #shame]
5 & final: Be Yourself
Even if yourself is not yourself
and is in fact somebody else.
Tail not your thing?
Sell your voice to the Disney devil equivalent and opt for gams instead.
What's the worst that can happen?
(you know, other than almost dying and losing your family and sacrificing your life for a random whim of a dream and stuff)
|yes, that is a plastic fork. and yes, I did find it on the ground.|
|skirt: vintage, blouse: Anthropologie, crop top: Derek Lam x Kohls, shoes; Tildon via Nordstrom,|
And that's that!
My totally irrelevant and non-pertinent advice, courtesy of the lil' merm.