One time,
I went through this phase where I based all of my life decisions
on Disney princesses.
PSYCH
I do this every single day.
For example,
when deciding whether or not to take the smoothest course,
I remember that the dream-giver waits for me just around the river bend,
and opt for the bumpier ride.
In today's case, however, the life advice is of a much shallower short.
For example, what do you do when your favorite colors just happen to replicate those of a certain slightly overweight and eerily optimistic dinosaur?
Wear them anyway!
That's right, folks. Don't let a poorly-dressed predecessor deter you from rocking your most favorite of fashions (hellloooo spandex).
Which leads me to my wee round-up of style-related savvy gleaned from everyone's favorite mermaid,
Ariel.
...
1. Innerwear as Outwear
It's cool. Do it. But with balance, baby. No lingerie with low-waisted bottoms, puh-lease. Mom jeans/high-waisted tails are your best bet when blowing off a shirt for a mind-blowingly awesome set of boob shells.
2. Combovers
Not only for the Donald.
Fer realz. These things effectively add roughly 3 times the volume to otherwise wispy princess hair, lending you a voluptuous head-topper perfect for emphasizing your tiny and equally as wispy princess frame.
3. Necklines
Square, sweetheart, scoop or sharp V - when you find it, you'll know. And don't let go. This is one comfort zone you'll be glad that you stayed within (says the girl with one too many attempted crew neck-based ensembles and a subsequent plethora of blackmail-worthy photos awaiting immediate destruction)
Not exactly a sliver of sartorial savvy, but invaluable nonetheless:
Make strides to surround yourself with chubby amorphous blobs with bulbous noses in order to effectively quadruple your physical appeal. Regardless of the circumstance, or the state of your potentially unruly mane of abnormally voluptuous hair, you will always, and mean always be the better looking friend. And for that, we have the Flounders of the world to thank.
[I am somebody else's Flounder. I guarantee it. #noshame #shame]
5 & final: Be Yourself
Even if yourself is not yourself
and is in fact somebody else.
Embrace it.
Tail not your thing?
Sell your voice to the Disney devil equivalent and opt for gams instead.
What's the worst that can happen?
(you know, other than almost dying and losing your family and sacrificing your life for a random whim of a dream and stuff)
 |
| yes, that is a plastic fork. and yes, I did find it on the ground. |
 |
| skirt: vintage, blouse: Anthropologie, crop top: Derek Lam x Kohls, shoes; Tildon via Nordstrom, |
And that's that!
My totally irrelevant and non-pertinent advice, courtesy of the lil' merm.
NERD OUT.
this is bar none one of the most amazing blog posts of all time. i too am of the school that everything i learned about life i learned from the little mermaid. daddy's girl for life, never trust anyone wearing copious amounts of blue eye shadow and red lipstick, and having a trove full of treasures untold is never a bad thing. you look amazing rocking a side part and a bustier and don't even get me started on that pseudo tail. that fork picture is AMAZING. wish i could be part of your world!
ReplyDeleteabigail
www.farandwildjewelry.com
and this is why i love you.....a. that crop top is awesome b. this is sound advice and c. the fork just makes me happy!!!!
ReplyDeletebrooke @ what2wear
I was going to say you look just like Ariel in that first pic until I noticed the title of the post and then read it... Loved it! I take a large amount of life advice from the TV show Friends, personally. It's a little (a lot) outdated now, but it still allows me to impress people with fun facts like this one: hazel nuts and brazil nuts are actually seeds masquerading as nuts. Boo-yah! And I win the party ;)
ReplyDeleteWow! Inspiration can come from anywhere indeed. And your analysis and observation is quite detailed.I could have never imagined styling a long blouse with a skirt... you pulled it off pretty great :)
ReplyDeleteSwati @ The Creative Bent