Look Sharp, Sconnie - Midwestern Fashion Nerd, Chronic Over-thinker

Faux Tard.

Ok,

I never thought I'd say this . . . 
but I kind of want a leotard. 

I know. 
Painful flashbacks to awkward middle school jazz class and that horrible feeling when you and your chubby 6th grade thighs were forced to stand next to that one perfect blonde girl in that horrendous full length and excruciatingly honest full length studio wall mirror. 

Just me??
ahem

anyways. 

Maybe it's a symptom of my chronic contempt for inappropriate crack exposure, but there's just something so comforting about knowing that your shirt will not - CANnot - come untucked. 
You bend and snap all you want, girl. No plumbers-esque malfunctions for you. 

Or maybe it's the (annoying word alert) juxtaposition achieved by the skin tight spandex against the comparative bulkiness of most other fabrics. Anything looks effortless when you throw it over something so body-hugging. Even skinny jeans can appear baggy - an interesting phenomenon and one that surely mixes up a stale wardrobe.
 
And can we talk about the silhouette?
Save for the occasional awkward stomach pudge (insider tip: avoid food for the duration of your leotard experimentation), there's something pretty darn cool about a pair of higher waisted bottoms and the curvaceous hour-glassedness of their shape when paired with the tight fitting top. 

Full disclosure, though. This 'tard is actually a tank. 
I had to test it out before investing. Though I suppose I could have just dug out an old swimsuit. 
faux tard: old (legit similar), blazer, H&M, jeans: Gap ("sexy boyfriend"...), shoes: ebay (similar)
One more reason to never throw anything out ever. 

Actually, 
now that I think about it...
Mom: do you have any of my old jazz leotards?



Cheers.


for tickets, click here.


PS: If you wanna come chill w/ my faux tard wearing self (or just ignore me and look at really cool independently-designed clothes), come to the THREADS fashion show tomorrow (Saturday) night in Madison, WI. Tickets HERE.
[[insider tip: for $5 off enter code TAKE5]]










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6 comments:

  1. NorbyahMay 10, 2013 at 6:07 AM

    this brings me back to those high school days in the early nineties when i had a number of body suits in my possession. not sure that i'm ready to go back, but i will give you this....less plumbers crack would be a good thing!
    xo
    n

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  2. far and wild jewelryMay 10, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    based on these, and all, of the pictures on your blog i would say that you more than got the last laugh on everyone from jazz class. love your faux-tard and i say go all the way baby. i live in the american apparel scoop back leotards. they're a boyfriend jean and high waisted skirt's best friend. sneaky secret, i have the scoopback dress and it works just as well as the leotard for tucking into things because it's thin enough not to be bulky and you can avoid the permawedgie and actually pee and stuff.

    abigail
    www.farandwildjewelry.com

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    1. UnknownMay 10, 2013 at 8:31 AM

      OMG. I stole my sister's white one (it's in a few of my posts) and I do the SAME THING. It's Fantastic!

      I pee roughly every 30 seconds, so it's a MUST.

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  3. CollectionsMay 10, 2013 at 12:14 PM

    I have some leotards from American Apparel that I LOVE. They are so easy to wear and I don't have to wear a bra with them... (best thing about it) lol

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  4. The Chic SheetMay 11, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    I am seriously diggin' this look!


    XX,
    Miranda

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  5. Pardon My FashionMay 11, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    GURL, your boobs look fantastic and I looooooove this leotard look. I want one!

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