Faux Tard.

Ok,

I never thought I'd say this . . . 

but I kind of want a leotard. 

I know. 
Painful flashbacks to awkward middle school jazz class and that horrible feeling when you and your chubby 6th grade thighs were forced to stand next to that one perfect blonde girl in that horrendous full length and excruciatingly honest full length studio wall mirror. 

Just me??

ahem

anyways. 

Maybe it's a symptom of my chronic contempt for inappropriate crack exposure, but there's just something so comforting about knowing that your shirt will not - CANnot - come untucked. 

You bend and snap all you want, girl. No plumbers-esque malfunctions for you. 

Or maybe it's the (annoying word alert) juxtaposition achieved by the skin tight spandex against the comparative bulkiness of most other fabrics. Anything looks effortless when you throw it over something so body-hugging. Even skinny jeans can appear baggy - an interesting phenomenon and one that surely mixes up a stale wardrobe.
 

And can we talk about the silhouette?

Save for the occasional awkward stomach pudge (insider tip: avoid food for the duration of your leotard experimentation), there's something pretty darn cool about a pair of higher waisted bottoms and the curvaceous hour-glassedness of their shape when paired with the tight fitting top. 

Full disclosure, though. This 'tard is actually a tank. 

I had to test it out before investing. Though I suppose I could have just dug out an old swimsuit. 

faux tard: old (legit similar), blazer, H&M, jeans: Gap ("sexy boyfriend"...), shoes: ebay (similar)

One more reason to never throw anything out ever. 

Actually, 
now that I think about it...

Mom: do you have any of my old jazz leotards?

Cheers.

for tickets, click here.

PS: If you wanna come chill w/ my faux tard wearing self (or just ignore me and look at really cool independently-designed clothes), come to the THREADS fashion show tomorrow (Saturday) night in Madison, WI. Tickets HERE.
[[insider tip: for $5 off enter code TAKE5]]