NERD POCAHONTAS SPORTY: It's not a thing.

Well, folks. 

I've finally learned my lesson. 

I, Gabrielle L. Pedriani (say it out loud. And then blame my parents), of the famed and widely renowned blog, Look Sharp Sconnie . . . 

(please be patient as I take a virtual bow)

will never,
ever,
 be an athlete. 

It's true. And as I sit (lay) here in my pajamas (bathrobe) piled underneath a week's worth of (very dirty) laundry - my deriere perched atop an uncomfortably warm heating pad, 

I take now a quick break from feeling sorry for myself to tell you all my tender sob story. 

It goes like this: 

I really suck at sports. 

So much so, that the slowest treadmill jog in the history of jogkind has damaged my nether regions to the extent that I may never walk again. 

Deep breaths, friends. Deep breaths. I said "walk" - not "pose". 

You can sleep sound tonight knowing that you shall indeed see again this spectacular specimen of a human face.

Until you do, however, I've kindly pried my gentle wound from the (dis)comfort that is this perpetually too-hot piece of plastic heat, and decided to make a brief ode to athleticism.

But athleticism of the most unathletic sort. 

This, 

is Fashion's athleticism. 

Because, in truth, we all know that the percentage of "style bloggers" who simultaneously partake in competitive athletics and daily modeling sessions is . . . 

limited. 

My theory is that a large part of the recent appeal of sportswear for fashion bloggers originates from the inner urge that this overly-saturated market has induced to be one of the high school cool kids. 

With all this cut-throat blogger competition, 
we have find some way to "prove" that we really don't care, 
much like Sporty Spice.
Or Avril.

So what better way to assert our preconceived apathy than via mesh, tennis shoes and faux baseball caps.
Because if we can't achieve effortlessness, 
we sure as hell can buy it. 

But please,. Don't take offense.

This is coming to you from the girl who literally used to hide behind the other team's players in basketball games in order to avoid being passed to. 

Thus, to channel a portion of my own aesthetic, 
I bring you
NERD POCAHONTAS SPORTY

Because what's cooler than a fit little Native American princess with a propensity for science fiction? 

Upon further reflection, 

I realize that I really should have addressed (read: marred) each sport individually for maximum effect. 

I also should probably take it easy on the whole red shoe front. 

Cheers.