Look at me!
I can make lists too!
I'll admit: every time I do one of these posts, I feel a little bit like I'm selling my soul to the (non Prada clad) devil. 10 Ways to Slim Down for Summer! Six Things to Improve Your Sex! Twenty Tips for Tackling Your Irrational Fear of Cancer!
Just me?
Anyhooo . . .
Today's post actually arises from an impromptu bout of idiocy that struck while photographing the original outfit seen above.
Someone (me) had an ill-conceived second cup of coffee and got a little . . . excited, about her new white blazer.
Behold:
5 Ways to Wear a Blazer
also known as
5 Ways to Act Like an Idiot While in a Public Place.
1. Like an Adult.
But really. Do I not look hella professional in my mini dress and bright red heels?
That is sarcasm.
I do not.
That being said, I'd say at the very least that this blazey mcblazer classes up (read: de-sexualizes) the somewhat risk-ay((?)) (I have low standards) ensemble for easier public consumption.
Scrunch up the sleeves for an extra photo-shooty-esque look.
They won't stay that way, but by repeatedly re-scrunching them up you'll perpetually look like you're about to "get to work".
They won't stay that way, but by repeatedly re-scrunching them up you'll perpetually look like you're about to "get to work".
2. Like a Blogger
Because how stupid are sleeves? AMIWRONG?
That is sarcasm.
I quite like sleeves. I also like not having my jacket fall off should I say, choose to, say, walk faster than -.001mph.
3. Like a Fancy Business Man
Really. Is there anyone else that comes to mind?
Sadly, the closest I'll come to ever being rich.
#depressing
4. Like Someone Chic Getting Caught in The Rain
I guess some people opt for expensive blazers over makeshift-umbrellas-made-out-of-grocery-bags.
To each his own.
To each his own.
5. Like a Gabby
That's right. I'm a species now.
And I'm super into tying stuff around my waist in order to create the illusion that I have an hour glass figure. Even when said "stuff" is unflatteringly bulky and the aforementioned "hour glass" is . . . not.
Also : try hailing a fake cab. It adds that extra oomph of idiocy required for all Gabby-esque dressing.
See?
Nailed it.
See?
 |
| blazer & shoes: Zara, dress: Loft, ring: Karen London (on SUPER sale!) |
BADDABINGBADDABOOM.
**Wipes hands together proudly as if she's just done real work.**
There you have it.
5 Things to Think About When Wearing a Blazer Besides the Work You're Probably Supposed to Be Doing.
Cheers.
photos by by Matt Engelhart
so your version of a numbered post has been much more informative than anything i've ever read in cosmo. spoiler alert, of the 3 ways to improve your sex life one will always include either ice or a peppermint. thanks but no thanks. but back to you. i will appreciate this post in the following way, 5 things i love about this post: 1. that smoking hot outfit. leather has never looked better you absolute babe. 2. red shoes. i need them already. 3. mirrored sunnies, love them on you. 4. your fake cab hail is amazing. traffic stopping and then some. 5. gabby as a species. finally!
ReplyDeleteabigail
www.farandwildjewelry.com
Those red shoes are itching me now (like badly).. ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved the post!
risingcolors.blogspot.in
You certainly know how to rock your blazer! I love those red shoes you have :)
ReplyDeleteEnter to win a Snoozer Loser Giveaway!
The Dragonfruit Diaries
LMFAO, you are a hoot. I laughed so hard at this:
ReplyDeleteTwenty Tips for Tackling Your Irrational Fear of Cancer!
Anyway, as I was scrolling down this post, I was really hoping you'd show a scenario of you wearing your blazer tied to your waist, and lo and behold. Win! Your fake cab hailing is effing hilarious, because I found old 'blogger' photos of mine doing the same pose. And I was standing in the forest.
WWW.ROXTHEFOX.COM
I WANT TO SEE.
DeleteYou look so cute in every ways you did on that blazer. I like the way you write, not boring compare to me. :) Thanks for visiting my blog and for reading it. And most of all, thanks for appreciating my style for that origami skirt. How I wish it's a little bit cold also here in Philippines, so I can wear a leather dress with a blazer cover up too. So stylish!! Love your red ankle strap heels. <3
ReplyDeletexx Diana
http://stylegrenade.blogspot.com/
You crack me up every time I read your posts :D
ReplyDelete"Like Gabby" is my favorite, looks super pretty and original ^_^
That leather dress is fantastic, I've been searching for a similar dress my whole life, seriously!
Oh yeah, those mindless articles are the best, don't forget the "How to do a blowjob in 6 easy steps.." good grief!
Love it - who knew a blazer was SO versatile ;-)
ReplyDelete♥ Paula Shoe Fiend.
http://shoe-fiend.blogspot.co.uk/
Really nice feature, you look great!
ReplyDeleteMafalda ❤
http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/
As a fellow Gaby (with one b however) I feel that "the Gabby" is very appropriate.
ReplyDeleteYou may have sold your soul but you've certainly entertained me. The Blogger is my favourite, I've attempted to wear a jacket without using those pesky sleeves and find it's only practical if I plan on remaining in the one position for an extended period of time. Which is fine, except I'm not actually a statue.
ReplyDeleteHa I love this! You have a great sense of humor. I think I read somewhere that posts with numbers in them attract a lot of visitors, because apparently people love numbers. So go you! Hurray for all the new followers you just gained ;)
ReplyDeleteI love the outfit, every item is amazing and combined they are just... even more amazing! I guess I would wear the blazer like an adult :) Although the Gabby looks very good on you as well. I guess I have to try out all options next time I put on a blazer.
xoxo Iris
A DASH OF FASH