I spend a lot of time pretending that I'm cool .
Not like the, "oh hey I'm cool", kind of cool,
but like the,
"Oh hey I'm going to walk unnoticed down this street because I'm not going to fall and spontaneously break my hip" kind of cool at which only people such as myself have to actually work.
That being said, I'm also super tired like 100.5% of the time, and I can't really afford to expound the energy upon being cool that I would rather use on say, staying warm, and other mildly less narcississtic feats.
That's where "wardrobe staples" come in.
Which is weird, considering that I'm not a big believer in mandatory "go-tos." Most of mine change every millisecond or so (#compulsiveshoppersUNITE).
Still, I thought it could be fun to elaborate upon a few of mine this week - if for no other reason than that I like talking about my clothes with my Blogger interface n' stuff.
let's get into it:
Things That Currently Make Me Feel Instantly Cool
1. Flared pants.
Bellbottoms, if you will. But I won't, because the notion of the "bellbottom" comes with a stigma with which I just can't jive. Flare's more...sassily sophisticated.
Yes I just said "sassily".
Yes I'm mildly ashamed.
2. Snake print.
I dunno, guys. I just don't know. Is my sudden love for animal print rooted in the equally inexplicable draw towards irony, or am I finally succumbing to the oft-heard-never-believed statement "animal print is a neutral".
Because is it? Really? Is it?
3. Leather gloves.
Yep. Those same leather gloves that your grandmother wore indoors on mildly breezy days and that you used to (still do) think looked really cool and ominous while holding things like you were about to murder everything you touched.
Those are Gabby-proclaimed cool now.
4. Pointy-toed pumps.
Because they're old,
but young at the same time -
and could just as easily be handed down from your mom as they could have been recently purchased for $600 from Barney's.
You just don't know.
Except that you do, because it's me,
and hint: they were not purchased for $600 from Barney's.
5. Thick cuffs/hems.
Super easy way to reference the runway without, you know, "referencing the runway" via geometric prints and minimalism and plaid and Zara crop tops and like everything on every blog ever.
6. Red lipstick.
Just like everything on every blog ever.
7. Bushy eyebrows FOR THE WIN!
Psych. These do not actually make me feel cool.
In fact, they make me feel very very insecure.
But by saying that they make me feel cool, I'm planning on wishing the sentiment into being.
Kind of like positive thinking n' stuff.
except self-depreciating and facetious.
Not the same thing at all.