Look Sharp, Sconnie - Midwestern Fashion Nerd, Chronic Over-thinker

How to Look Important While in NYC. (Another list...)

Getting "street-styled" and looking important are two very, very different things. 
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Yes, important people get street-styled (almost exclusively, in fact, but that's a topic for another post), 
but they get street-styled because they're important. 
Frankly, at this point, Leandra Medine could wear whatever the hell she wanted, and she'd still be on everyone and their brother's "best dressed" list. 
To be a street-style star without having important friends (or being a model), is, in this stage of the game, relatively impossible. 
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That being the case, as I see it, it's better to look important, act important, meet important people under the guise of importance, and maintain important relationships with said important people, than it is to fool that one snap-happy photographer into thinking that your neon green pencil skirt makes you relevant. 
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So, without further ado, here is a bit of unsolicited advice based solely on what prompted me to assume that someone else I was looking at was a big deal: 

First thing's first:
1. Don't wear color.
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The most interesting thing I noticed about looking important was the role of color. Unless, that is, you've already made a name for yourself.
In which case, wear a shit ton of color.

Otherwise, stick to a relatively neutral palette. Wearing too much color immediately gives you away as a peacocker, and when the key is to look like you're too cool to care, that's an insta camera turn-off.

2. Don't dress like a girl.
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Fer realz. There's something about masculine dressing that leads people to assume you're an important person. Too-short hemlines, too-tight dresses-- unless paired with an incredibly masculine counterpart, are par for the wrong course. 

Important people are so importantly intelligent that they don't have to look traditionally attractive.

So go ahead and drape your insignificance in oversized clothing and boleros. 

3. Never look up.
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Look at your friend. Look at your phone. Look at your swollen and bleeding feet.
Whatever you do - just don't acknowledge reality.
Be in your own world. Important people don't have time for the outside world. Important people have other important people to talk to.

Speaking of which .  . . 

4. Walk with important people. 
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Have you ever looked at an image, seen two important people walking with one unknown, proceeded to Google-stalk that unknown, and then convinced yourself of their importance?

Et voila.

This technique is tricky, though. Mainly because important people also know this rule, so as an unimportant outsider, you're at an instant disadvantage. Eventually, however, one impressive individual will exhibit true everyman kindness and converse with you even while in a public sphere. This is what I assume they consider "not forgetting the little people". It is also your chance to be bigger. 

5. I realize I discussed this one recently, but whatever you do, 
don't. slow. down. 
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Try to keep moving at all costs. 
This will be difficult, because there's a very good chance that you will have nowhere to go. 
But rest assured; fake walk long enough to nowhere, and eventually you'll have lots of somewheres to go. 

That's what I tell myself when aimlessly circling blocks in stupid shoes. 

Leading me to point 6: 

Don't wear stupid shoes. 
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Or do wear stupid shoes, but know how to walk in them. 
Teetering around looks stupid and childish. Not important. 
If you're walking in Manolos, you better have been practicing in those Manolos for the last 10 weeks at your unappreciative office job in front of your snickering boss who doesn't understand that some day your idiocy will pay off and he will regret guffawing "nice shoes" to you every single morning when you toe-walk down the slippery hallway to your cubicle.

And finally. . . 

7. BELIEVE, without at doubt, without any hesitation, without an insecurity in the world, that YOU ARE IMPORTANT. 
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Importance is exuded. Confidence is tangible. 
Convince yourself of your own significance, and you will be significant. 

Maybe not right away, 
maybe not this week, 
maybe not ever to anyone but your mom,
(kidding kidding)
but in time, it will happen.  

Soon enough, you'll legitimize your own legitimacy. 

#TRUTH.

Cheers.

PS: Fun game: re-read this entire post and take a shot every time I say 'important'






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2 comments:

  1. NorbyahFebruary 17, 2014 at 6:08 AM

    okay, damn on number 1 & 2 because I'm a colors and prints, dress/skirts kind of gal. Number 5 is a challenge with three kids in tow (which automatically rules me out of being 'street styled' anyhow) and I'm prone to wear a stupid shoe here and there. But, oh well. Despite it all, I agree....I AM IMPORTANT! loved this post. so much.
    xo
    n

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  2. cyeomsFebruary 17, 2014 at 9:48 AM

    this is hilarious, you've picked the best photo counterparts too. i think it's important to make important people feel a little silly too, i think you struck a nice balance with this post.

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