Look Sharp, Sconnie - Midwestern Fashion Nerd, Chronic Over-thinker

I Hate Who I Love.

I have a very hard time differentiating between love and hate. 
The easiest way for me to explain this is to do what works for me in most example-giving situations - and that is to
reference middle school. 

Do you remember the three or four girls for whom you harbored a deep sense or resentment but also a disconcertingly large and conflicting amount of love?
gary pepper girl
Do you remember that one quasi-athletic guy with shaggy, pre-Bieber, side-swept and semi-greasy but-oh-so-luscious brunette bangs and how you very verbally "thought he was so stupid" and "shallow" and "immature" but secretly wished that you were the girl who got to hold his clammy hand sans eye contact for the entirety of Final Destination 2?

Savor that emotion. 
Savor it.
Now amplify it by 1,000.
5 inch and up
That is how I feel about successful people. 

It's nothing personal. 
Honestly, it's likely a form of flattery. It's a form of flattery with roots in immaturity and leaves sprouted from a lack of self confidence. But where it really becomes painful is in those situations in which I truly believe that I could have gotten where they are myself.
It's that bitter taste in my mouth that stems from the (usually false) assumption that their triumphs should have been achievable by yours truly that cuts the deepest. 
anouk yve
[[i.e. here we exclude prodigal piano players, mentally-superior mathematicians, swan lake princesses, etc, etc]] 

But bloggers?
Yes. 
my fashion inspiration
Thus, enter the confusing host of conflicting emotions that comes into play when meeting blog goddesses. 

Just because the resentment stems from immaturity and false assumptions about how they reached their destination, doesn't mean that it isn't real. 
harper & harley

Am I alone here?

Cheers.


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1 comment:

  1. cyeomsFebruary 5, 2014 at 7:20 PM

    I definitely idolize people who maybe aren't that idolrific because they appear to have an aura of success or comfort in their abilities that is undeniably enviable and (unfortunately) impossible to emulate.
    I think meeting all those goddesses at NYFW will change that kneejerk reaction to success (maybe because you're totally there, or atleast really close to there in my opinion!)

    ps. I have been asleep in the blogworld for a while, your site revamp looks amazing and is totally sweet and fun like the spirit of your thoughtprovoking posts

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