You Liked My Photo on Facebook So We Should Probably Get Married.

Aw man, guys.

LIKES.

What are they all about?

Aside from, you know, serving as reassurance of your own relevance on a daily basis- which is nice, don't get me wrong, but not an all-encompassing quality by any means.

The topic arose as I sat with two girls in their 20s this weekend for almost an hour, discussing the social politics behind cross-sex "liking" of the social media sort. So it's a legit concern (of over-analytical mid-twenties females) of which you ~~probably don't need to~~ should definitely be aware.

So many questions to unnecessarily ask! So many nonexistent intentions to invent!

Can an Instagram like lead to infidelity?

Is a Facebook like essentially a flirt?

Are we all just idiots clicking buttons without any determinable motivation?

Probably.

I do know, though, that my initial reactions to likes of various sorts are often times unreasonable and fully fictional.

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So, let's elaborate on that, shall we?

FIRST: The Instagram Like.

In my mind, there are two types of Instagram likes:

1. The occasional, seemingly organic, once every fifth post single like.

I know, logically, that this means nothing. I know that an occasional double click of the thumb is just that - a double click of the thumb. It's a mindless, almost knee-jerk reaction to any mildly aesthetically appealing blip on a user's incessant Instagram feed.

I mean, I follow (and like [#dontkillme]) Lindsay Lohan's feed so.

Even so, that doesn't seem to negate the tiny flip in my intestinal area that occurs when, say, an old high school crush's name appears suddenly and randomly on my heart list.

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"Did he like that photo specifically? Is my duck-lipped selfie face especially effective here? Am I being abnormally hilarious? (jk) (I'm always hilarious).

But he didn't.

And it very likely isn't.

And I'm probably not.

And the infinite foot photos and face-covered-in-hair selfies overwhelming my Instafeed are probably still as uninteresting as my guitar-playing-Lord of the Rings-loving-high-school-self was to the one-time man of my dreams.

Who, incidentally, is no Brad Pitt himself these days.

#justsayin'.

2. The 10-in-a-row binge like.

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He wants you to notice him.

End of story.

If any boy likes over 5 of your photos in a row, he's either 1. unaware of the fact that Instagram will..well, instantaneously make you aware of this, or 2. adamant that you know he's interested in the 8,000 pictures of your feet. Which is a good sign, as far as I see it. #truelove?

SECOND: The Facebook like.

Again, 2 types:

1. The Facebook photo like.

Isn't there something about a Facebook photo like that just feels so . . . personal. Like- if this boy can like your current undoubtedly-charming-yet-simultaneously-quirky self-deprecating laughing photo, isn't he also seeing those miserable school dance photos of you from 8th grade along with every other poorly-concealed alcohol photo from ~~high school~~ ~~college~~ your post-21 years, and still loving your true self anyways?

It's also so..public. I mean- he's very public acknowledging the fact that he is fond of this picture. Which would be straight-forward (creepy?) if it was pre-Facebook and he had, say, circled your photo in his yearbook or hung it on his wall. Now, however, he may just as easily be showing encouragement for his girlfriend's cool friend as he could be endorsing your new PureBarre butt.

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2. The Facebook status like.

It's like ... he knows you. It's like he gets your insightful status about being super frustrated at the neighbor's intolerable Friday night Miley Cyrus music. Or the obsessive couponer in front of you at the grocery store. Or your forever love for Frodo #what?

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He wants to connect with you. He wants you to see that he agrees with your most passionate emotions about pumpkin coffee creamer and Andy Cohen and Nordstrom's customer service policy - he wants to be there for those big moments in your incredibly riveting life.

He thinks you're hilarious.

He empathizes.

In conclusion: Facebook likes are...DEEP man.

They're real.

I mean, as deep and real as a digital thumb facing upwards can get, #amiright?

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Facebook likes are hard to ignore, because a Facebook like implies some sort of knowledge of who you are, versus your often incognito Instagram identity.

3. The Twitter "favorite".

This is essentially nonexistent for me, because very few people care what I have to say on Twitter.

That being said, I like to think that every Twitter "favorite" is a tactful move. Twitter very rarely incites genuine responses- genuine in the sense that they are without motive. The only Twitter followers I have are just as interested in their own self-promotion as they are in that of those they follow.

So these shows of "support" I tend to ignore.