12 Things "Fashion" Bloggers Do When They're Together

Fun fact: 

Bloggers are weird. 

And not like, Zooey Deschanel, cute-on-TV, weird,

but like, 

if-people-watched-what-we-do-in-private-they'd-probably-commit-us weird.

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Which makes getting us together in a group that much more fun. Because if there's anything better than 1 crazy fashion blogger out on her own, 

it's 10 crazy fashion bloggers hanging out together pretending that we're normal. 

Here's what typically goes down: 

1. We Talk About How Weird Blogging Is. 

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Much like how I started this post, a large part of community blogging experiences is the ability to commiserate about how abnormal a large part of blogging can be. For a variety of factors- including, but not limited to, the fact that we spend more time taking pictures of ourselves than others, our propensity for pastel-colored foods, and the sad truth that we spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about how our outfits look from the top-down, we often share qualities with which others find it difficult to relate. 

2. We Compare Social Media Followings

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You can pretend that you don't. Which is cute. 

But I'm guessing that the majority of you know full well that sinking feeling of intimidation that comes along with the experience of finding out that the super cool down to earth blogger chick with whom you've been chatting for the last 15 minutes has 50K Instagram followers, while you're still struggling to get noticed by your mom.

3. We Spend More Time Visually Manipulating Our Settings Than Enjoying Them

Clearing the table for top-down food pics, arranging our jewelry to look effortlessy geometric, casually twisting our wrists to show off our inspiring tattoos-- it's no wonder we spend more time on computers than in public. We're essentially graphically-designing our own realities. 

4. We Worry About Taking Enough Pictures

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It's like the most obnoxious, narcissistic, OCD version of myself kicks in whenever I'm at an event with other bloggers. "Have I gotten enough pictures of the cupcakes?", "do I have everyone's Instagram accounts so that I can tag them in this awkward-to-take-but-apparently-joyous group photo?", "have I gotten enough pictures of my outfit in this venue?"

When I'm by myself, the urges aren't so strong. But being around other digitally-savvy mavens makes me hyper-conscious of my need to (and ultimate disdain for) photo-documenting every millisecond of the experience. 

5. We Gossip About Other Bloggers

Not in a malicious way, per se. Just - you know - in a mildly jealous and often awestruck manner. Enough to satiate our hunger for reassurance that we're not the only ones lusting over the level of renowned our idols/rivals have achieved.

6. We Talk About How Sick We Are of Social Media

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"It's so dumb", "it's such a waste of time", "it's so fake", "nothing works", "it's getting old", "it's all the same", "I just want to go and live in the wilderness and throw my cellphone away and disappear from it all with a lifetime supply of wine and infinite tub of peanut butter."

Meanwhile, we're surmising 140-character synopses of the conversation and essentially sabotaging our own pipe dreams of techno-free peace.

Which is fine. Because, - in the end, would any of us really have hobbies if not for our perpetual abilities to overshare?

7. We Lament The Fact That We Don't Have Photographer Boyfriends

Because what's life without a man that can make you look pretty 24/7,

and what's a man without the persistent desire to make you look pretty 24/7?

I'm sure that's a healthy dynamic, right? 

8. We Keep Adjusting That One Awkward Trend That We're Desperately Trying to Pull Off

image via Mr. Newton

Whether that be the first knuckle ring that doesn't quite stay on, the half tuck that frequently becomes a whole, or the coat draped over our shoulders that's continually falling off - blogger-based trends tend to be remarkably impractical and unbearably inane. Naturally, we're obliged to try while around the only people in the world who will appreciate our efforts.

9. We Keep Doing That Thing Where We Escape to a Corner to Briefly Stand Alone

It's debatable whether or not this phenomenon is for our own introvert-imperative sanity, or because coming up with a HIL-arious Tweet mid-conversation is a nearly impossible, 
but I can guarantee you that you'll find us scurrying off to secluded corners on a disparagingly regular basis. 

Rest assured I'm editing an Instagram app with 300 PicTapGo filters. 

Which I'm so glad I just admitted.

10. We're Always Getting Our Hair Done

Or mani/pedis. 

It's funny. For as far as we've come in terms of promoting the real-women aspect of fashion, we sure as hell love our cliche pampering. 

And cupcakes. 
We freakin love our cupcakes.

11. We Head Straight for the Alcohol

Or the cupcakes. 

Notice how we'll always bee-line for the alcohol or cupcakes; The coping mechanisms upon which we rely to assist our awkward selves fluidly converse enough to pretend that - for just a moment - we're half as cool as our blogs make us seem. 

One for its inebriant qualities,
the other for it's propensity to ignite ample small talk. 

12. We Pretend That We're Not Stalkers

Very rarely is it that we haven't heard of one blogger or another's brand collaboration or recent musical festival exploits. I, myself, am typically aware of others' relationship statuses, their current states of employment, as well as any recent vacations they've happened to take. 

It's also rare that I'll own up to this. 

Part of being a blogger (or anything) nowadays is pretending that you're cool,

and there's nothing less cool than being that weird wannabe stalker girl who knows every detail of everyone else's life. 

So we play dumb. 

Which, again, is I'm sure
incredibly healthy. 

And also tiring and obnoxious. 

...

In conclusion, 
we're a bit psychotic, 
but well-intentioned, 
mildly self-conscious,
but incredibly ambitious, 

and ultimately- 
 always down for a good old-fashioned photogenic cupcake. 

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Cheers.

Photographic assistance by PuffPuffPicasso.com

taken at the Milwaukee Blogger Bazaar