Look Sharp, Sconnie - Midwestern Fashion Nerd, Chronic Over-thinker

How to not hate photos of yourself. (#realbloggerbeauty)

I hate pictures of myself.
A lot. 

Which is strange, because 75% of the time I walk out the door, I feel good. 
Not only about what I'm wearing, but about how I look in what I'm wearing--
 a difficult feat.

Then again, it only seems difficult when analyzing the situation from the future. 
For example: You know how when you dig up an old photo of yourself from 5th grade - pink and purple braces-clad, butterfly clip covered, patchwork flare denim dragging over the pink sparkly jellies you had had had to have - and how you suddenly flash back to just how AMAZING you felt in that outfit? How you were CERTAIN that the new foreign kid, Peter, was going to write you and only you a Valentine's Day card - complete with a holographic Britney Spears image and a heart(ish)-shaped sucker?
And ultimately (and unfortunately): how you are now completely unable to understand how you ever (ever ever) felt that way??

Picture that process, but with the feedback time of an hour rather than 15 years.

That's how I feel every. single. day.
I don't often leave home over-analyzing the thickness of my thighs, or how I reflexively close one eye when I laugh, or have an awkward mole on my left eyebrow, or some extra pudginess on my stomach. 

But suddenly, photos like these ones come back, 
and I DO. 

Which, as a blogger who publishes photos of herself incessantly, is very difficult. 
And it's not like I don't have mirrors. 

I do.
Two of them. 
Three, if you include reverse camera mode on my phone (WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE BROCCOLI IN MY TEETH)

But there's something about analyzing a photo in hindsight that serves as the absolute bane of my self confidence- the downfall of my body image peace. 
but why, I don't know.
Maybe a photo makes it easier to compare. Maybe, retroactively analyzing my body from an outside point of view makes it easier to set myself directly against those other women whose photographs I so admire. 
Or maybe I've just grown so accustom to my mirrored reflection,
 that only a photograph can reveal how I truly feel about myself(?). 

Whatever the case may be, I'd prefer my own skewed reality over this persistent self doubt. 
I'd prefer to relish the moment rather than resent the past. 
But I have a blog. That is centered on what I wear. And thus on how I look. 
And so it seems I have one of two options: 
1. distance myself from my photographic image, and pretend that the ab-less, midriff-baring, girl in this photo is somehow someone separate from myself,
 or...
long shirt: Derek Lam for Kohl's, crop top: ASOS, shorts: vintage, shoes: GeeWaWa Footwear, watch: La Mer
2. accept that Yes- I did feel badass leaving the house like this- 
and Yes- the photos themselves are badass- 
and so Yes- I should continue to feel badass, regardless of how much I don't look like Erin Wasson naked on the beach when comparing our (in)comparable shorefront photos. 

...

And I think we both know which one I'm aiming for. 


This post is part of the #RealBloggerBeauty project, in which we all talk about how we're not perfect. (started by Maya of Charmingly Styled)

Some crop-tops for the #2s amongst you
(or, of course, those of you with abs):
re:named, JOA, Clover Canyon, BCBGMaxazria, Torn by Ronny Kobo, Bec & Bridge, Nightcap Clothing, Nicholas



Photos by Life of David Photography


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14 comments:

  1. UnknownJune 16, 2014 at 7:33 AM

    Well written girl! I can relate 100%. I can honestly say the times I've felt most disgusted with my own appearance have been through looking at outfit photos taken for blogging. I almost get a pit in my stomach because I'll hate the way I looked that much, which is SO wrong considering I felt SO fine and happy walking out the door.

    Thanks for the honesty. p.s. I'm in love with these photos. Girl you fine.

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  2. Katie @ Loverly SheJune 16, 2014 at 9:09 AM

    You are so gorgeous! I guess we all look at ourselves impossibly critically when others can often see the truth more clearly. Since having a kid the inner battle has definitely gotten harder, but it’s still worth waging. I have to deliberately remind myself that my body looks pretty good for having grown a human life inside it. Life’s too short to get hung up on stupid stuff, right?

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  3. Amy {Cupcakes+Couture}June 16, 2014 at 9:21 AM

    i've really enjoyed reading all of the posts from maya's linkup today! :) i hate photos of myself as well...i always have and i think i likely always will. my eyes always go straight to my imperfections even though i know others don't notice them first. xo

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  4. UnknownJune 16, 2014 at 9:55 AM

    This was so beautifully written. It's strange, I could 100% relate to everything you said. I can probably count on one hand the amount of picture I actually like of myself from the past 5 years. It's tough when that confidence you had just a short while ago is demolished, I think because it makes you question your own judgement. I have no idea why this happens but I guess we can just chalk it up to another one of the wonderful things we get to deal with being a girl. Thanks so much for sharing - it's always great to know we aren't alone in our feelings.

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    1. UnknownJune 18, 2014 at 8:53 PM

      Do you think it's just girls?
      It's so strange, isn't it? Why doesn't confidence last. Why do we doubt ourselves?

      And do you think that, without photos, we'd be more self confident people?

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  5. UnknownJune 16, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    I love this post of yours. So honest and so true. I think most of us can relate to that, which is so odd since we all post pictures of us on a regular base.

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    1. UnknownJune 18, 2014 at 8:54 PM

      maybe we post so often because we're trying to fix the last "bad" post? ahhah

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  6. Katelyn NowJune 16, 2014 at 1:28 PM

    Great post Gabrielle. I have the same issue sometimes except it's the opposite. I leave the house feeling a little unsure about what I have on and usually come back thinking damn I looked good today ;) Lol what? How does this happen?!?

    Anyway, I think it's ironic that this is what you chose to post about because on Saturday I literally was thinking "Omg Gabby is the most naturally pretty person EVER"

    So there you have it ;)

    It was so nice seeing you again!!
    Katelyn

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    1. UnknownJune 18, 2014 at 8:51 PM

      aw man, Katelyn. way too nice. Made my day.

      I like your way better! Better to end with confidence than self doubt, right?

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  7. UnknownJune 17, 2014 at 9:37 AM

    It's funny how photographs instantly become how we see ourselves....they are just a moment frozen in time when we are so much more complicatedly beautiful than that. It's also funny how much I have always admired your photos and your confidence, both in person and on your blog. Sometimes we have to get out of our own head to see our beauty...but man it's hard...

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    1. UnknownJune 18, 2014 at 8:53 PM

      This is such an amazing point. "so much more complicatedly beautiful" is such a wonderful way to describe all that photographs miss.

      If only we had Harry Potter-esque photos . . .

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  8. UnknownJune 17, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    I loved this post Gabrielle. I really love your blog for being full of fashion inspiration, but even more so you are funny, well-intended, and genuine.
    xo, Kayla

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    1. UnknownJune 18, 2014 at 8:52 PM

      Thanks, Kayla. :-* I really appreciate you taking the time to read :)

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  9. Suburban Style ChallengeJune 18, 2014 at 1:57 PM

    I'm so guilty of this... leaving the house feeling awesome, taking outfit pics, and then looking at those pics weeks later and thinking, "WTF was I thinking with that outfit?! All it does is highlight [something negative]!" and I'm trying so hard to do what you point out in #2. It's tough though... even though I look at myself in the mirror and find one thing (at least one thing) that I'm happy about, I forget to do that when I look at pics of myself.

    Uh, also,, I loved that Derek Lam shirt dress thing, but it looked like crap on me. I never thought to style it like you did. Gah! Love it.

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