I like all of my clothes oversized.
In fact, today I bought 3 shirts that were all size "3X" from the local this-store-may-be-for-strippers-but-the-tshirts-are-under-$5-and-I'm-obsessed store, officially signaling my commitment to the plus sized purchases.
True, I've gained roughly 30lbs since moving to NYC, and I do struggle with the notion that I'm not the waify "do-you-model?" girl I once was, but that doesn't mean I necessarily require the degree of space between my skin and fabric that I currently prefer.
So why? Why am I obsessed with oversized?
sweater: H&M, pants: Helmut Lang, boots: Rag & Bone
Though I'm still in the process of analyzing this particular psyche, I'm narrowing down the cause to the fact that the perpetual fear I have of being the big bumbling idiot (cue traumatic middle school flashbacks) is forever counteracted by the fabric in which I'm being draped, which is itself so impressively overwhelming that it negates the fact that I, myself, ever could be.
Somehow, in these excessive folds of fabric, I am able to feel more delicate, smoother, and forever less abrasive than the picture of myself I've always held in my head. Somehow, by enveloping myself in triple XLs, I can exist within a different physical framework. My body is less important than my mind, and my personality operates separately from the tall, broad, imposing figure that I've always assumed I impose.
Underneath the sinking seams and drooping necklines, I am, soft, subtle, effortless.
Not me, per se, but the version of myself I'd like to project.
For now, at least.
Photos by Joey Pasion.
Commenting twice in one day like a crazy person but I can't help it! Too many thoughts have been provoked.
ReplyDeleteThe mid twenties weight gain seems to be a pattern for a lot of people! I know that the freshman 15 are the craze of what's talked about, but I think that as you push towards your mid twenties, you become more comfortable with yourself (in my case, comfortable enough to recognize that I've picked up unhealthy eating patterns... oh well). You start to recognize ways that you think about yourself, and what has been truth and what has been falsified in your mind.
It's like what you were saying with how you've imaged yourself a "big bumbling idiot" or a "tall, broad, imposing figure." I think that tall girls in particular see themselves as being somehow fearsome, but not in a way that makes them feel powerful or brave. For some reason, being an imposing figure isn't something to be proud of for a lot of people, but it's silly if you think about it. To be big and strong enough to protect yourself and others around you is a good thing. To have a stature, stance, and look that makes people think twice before messing with you and always take you seriously is a gift that some people have to consciously work toward. I think that with the body positivity movement comes different aesthetics in fashion, and we can show a figure and sense of style that isn't traditional to the fashion world. You already have a foot in the door, and regardless of whether your weight fluctuates up or down in the future, I know that with your clever insights you will create positive change.
As far as the actual fashion of this post goes, I love baggy clothes! There's something about them that can look so chic, especially when they are clothes that are not traditionally worn in a baggy fashion. For example, I bought a XXL blazer from Target because it was on the wrong hanger, and it has turned out to be as comfortable as a blanket. Comfort and the illusion of looking professional? I'm sold! When you combine different textures and sizes, like you did in these photos, the look comes off so effortless and amazing.
Take care. xx